I was currently in a situation in my life where I was aiming to move on from the things that close love ones had done to me in the past! This included family, friends, a lover, etc. For some people forgiveness comes naturally, but for me, it didn't. Things got so bad that I was even considering revenge, but deep down inside, I knew that in the end, the person who would be hurt the most would be me.
The truth of the matter is that sometimes I believe that we hold on to what other's have done to us because we put so much trust in other human beings. We fail to realize that these are people, and putting too much trust in another human is putting them on a God like pedestal. When we do this we are really setting ourselves up for failure because just like ourselves, these people are going to make mistakes!
Before I had a wake up call about a week ago, I had previously spent so much time being angry with love ones. Constantly planning how I was was going to permanently remove them from my life. I often asked myself, how could they do this to me? I remember repeatedly asking myself why me? why me? why me?
That last time I asked myself why me was last Sunday! That was the day that I had a wakeup call! I was so down that all I started to do was pray. I just prayed and asked God to help me. I asked him to give me the strength to get through this! Forgiveness was the hardest thing for me to do emotionally but I knew deep down inside that I could get through it and I was right! God had answered my prayers immediately.
I had been listening to this YouTuber who goes by the name of Lebonandi (check out her page
http://www.youtube.com/user/Lebonandi), and I had become drawn to her spirit and her positive energy that she projected from the inside. I decided to write her asking her about forgiveness and she returned her answer by responding with a YouTube video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X41YH0hna14) which woke me the hell up!
After viewing that video, I realized that I was tired of being angry. I was sick of crying. I was done with worrying and I was so over with feeling sorry for myself. I decided that it was time for a change. See a lot of the time, we spend so much time being angry with people who have probably moved on with their lives. Who probably do not care that they hurt us. Sometimes they think that they were not wrong and some do not even know that they hurt us. So we have to move on with our lives. Not for those who have wronged us but for ourselves.
We have to move on because when we do, we take control of our lives. When someone consumes your mind all day in a negative way, they have control over your mental. You might as well say that, that person owns your mind!!!! I will admit that it is NOT easy to get over certain situations (child molestation, being cheated on, abandonment, betrayal, etc) but it is something that we MUST do in order to get to the direction that we are trying to go in our lives.
That Sunday, Lebonandi's video woke me up and it did not stop there!! I was on Facebook and for some reason I decided to Like Shanel Cooper Sykes page (A life coach whom videos Ive been watching for a couple of months on YouTube, Check her out http://www.youtube.com/user/shanelcooper ). She had mentioned something about midnight meditation. Where a group of people all over the world call in toll free to have a meditation session with her.
Everything seemed to fall in place because God was really working that night. Shanel wrote a comment asking people what did they need prayer for. I wrote "Strength". Because I really needed the strength to get through that down moment that I was having and to learn to forgive. I called in that night and to my surprise, the meditation session was all about strength!!! Boy was God working in my favor. We meditated and prayed for strength to get through the hard times that we were going through, knowing that God was going to be there every step of the way and that those hard moments would pass!
That night I went to bed with a different outlook on life and forgiveness. I realized that I had been putting to much energy into people who probably was not even worrying about me or my feelings. I realized that I forgot about what it is that I should have been truly focusing on, which was my LIFE PURPOSE! I went to bed with so much gratitude because God was there for me and I felt his presence!
PEOPLE LEARN TO FORGIVE. Do not do it for those who hurt you but, for yourself. Because to be truthfully honest, when you choose not to forgive, you end up hurting yourself far more than the people who actually hurt you from the beginning!