Is Separation the Key for Negative Family Members??

I am on a certain path in my life. I'm at a point where I am aiming to find my place here on earth. My soul yearns to reach a certain destiny and I am at the point where I am letting NOTHING get in my way. That includes certain family members.

See, sometimes we can love our family members to death but, if their beliefs and way of life does not align with yours, you might have to cut them off for a sec while you get yourself together, and then get back to them after your house is in order!

There are certain family members of mine (close ones at that) whom I love so dearly but, their negative attitude and behavior have caused me to distant myself mentally. I am currently in a position where I cannot as of yet distant myself physically but, I am at the point where I am heavily thinking about doing so when I am able.

For me this is a very complicated situation. One of the most complicated situations in my life that I have been in as of yet! It burdens my heart when the ones that is suppose to love me the most does not inspire, encourage, or support my dreams or aspirations. The ones that is suppose to have my back to the end are the ones who discourage and down me the most. The ones whom I am suppose to trust the most is the ones who I distrust more than a stranger, because they go behind my back and stab it while ringing the knife around in it. 

Although this situation has been very painful, I am now in a healing process. Like I said in my previous post about forgiveness, you cannot put to much trust in another human being, because you are putting them in a God like position when this is done! This also includes family.  Although their family may not be perfect, few people tend to have a pretty close knit bond and understanding with their family but, for most, this is not the reality. 

Although very painful several of us have to come to the understanding that sometimes family will hurt you more than any stranger out in the streets could ever do. We have to come to the conclusion that sometimes, you cant change people. People have to want change for themselves and when that includes family, we have to learn to forgive, move on, and realize that everyone have their own life path where they must learn. 

I think the biggest lesson out of this situation for me is that the only person who I can depend on in this life is God and myself. You cannot always depend on others to back you in your situations. You cannot always depend on others to inspire you and you sure as heck cannot always depend on others to love you the way that you want to be loved. So with that being said, you must learn to love self, depend on self and know that God will have your back to the end of it all!

If you are in a position where there is no reasonable solution, then separating yourself for a while and going through a healing process may be the only option. I would tell no one to abandon their love ones unless the situation involved physical abuse (such as sexual assaults, beatings etc), but I will say that sometimes you do have to separate yourself from certain situations for a while. Just to get you in order because constant beating downs of the mental can leave you feeling so low and dry. When being in a position like that, there is little room for positive solutions. 

I feel myself having to do this if things do not change with certain family members of mines. Yes it will be hard and I know that their is a big chance that guilt may sneak in, but I know that in order for me to better myself and reach my destiny, this might be what I have to do. It will be a tough decision but I feel like it will be best. It might also teach those certain love ones that they cannot go around treating others like this because it may result in them losing people who actually care for them.

Take a stand by loving you first because no one, besides God is going to love you better than what you feel for yourself!

Do It For Yourself

I was currently in a situation in my life where I was aiming to move on from the things that close love ones had done to me in the past! This included family, friends, a lover, etc. For some people forgiveness comes naturally, but for me, it didn't. Things got so bad that I was even considering revenge, but deep down inside, I knew that in the end, the person who would be hurt the most would be me. 

The truth of the matter is that sometimes I believe that we hold on to what other's have done to us because we put so much trust in other human beings. We fail to realize that these are people, and putting too much trust in another human is putting them on a God like pedestal. When we do this we are really setting ourselves up for failure because just like ourselves, these people are going to make mistakes! 

Before I had a wake up call about a week ago, I had previously spent so much time being angry with love ones. Constantly planning how I was was going to permanently remove them from my life. I often asked myself, how could they do this to me? I remember repeatedly asking myself why me? why me? why me?

 That last time I asked myself why me was last Sunday! That was the day that I had a wakeup call! I was so down that all I started to do was pray. I just prayed and asked God to help me. I asked him to give me the strength to get through this! Forgiveness was the hardest thing for me to do emotionally but I knew deep down inside that I could get through it and I was right! God had answered my prayers immediately.

 I had been listening to this YouTuber who goes by the name of Lebonandi (check out her page 

http://www.youtube.com/user/Lebonandi), and I had become drawn to her spirit and her positive energy that she projected from the inside. I decided to write her asking her about forgiveness and she returned her answer by responding with a YouTube video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X41YH0hna14) which woke me the hell up! 

After viewing that video, I realized that I was tired of being angry. I was sick of crying. I was done with worrying and I was so over with feeling sorry for myself. I  decided that it was time for a change. See a lot of the time, we spend so much time being angry with people who have probably moved on with their lives. Who probably do not care that they hurt us. Sometimes they think that they were not wrong and some do not even know that they hurt us. So we have to move on with our lives. Not for those who have wronged us but for ourselves. 

We have to move on because when we do, we take control of our lives. When someone consumes your mind all day in a negative way, they have control over your mental. You might as well say that, that person owns your mind!!!! I will admit that it is NOT easy to get over certain situations (child molestation, being cheated on, abandonment, betrayal, etc)  but it is something that we MUST do in order to get to the direction that we are trying to go in our lives. 

That Sunday, Lebonandi's video woke me up and it did not stop there!! I was on Facebook and for some reason I decided to Like Shanel Cooper Sykes page (A life coach whom videos Ive been watching for a couple of months on YouTube, Check her out http://www.youtube.com/user/shanelcooper ). She had mentioned something about midnight meditation. Where a group of people all over the world call in toll free to have a meditation session with her.

Everything seemed to fall in place because God was really working that night. Shanel wrote a comment asking people what did they need prayer for. I wrote "Strength". Because I really needed the strength to get through that down moment that I was having and to learn to forgive. I called in that night and to my surprise, the meditation session was all about strength!!! Boy was God working in my favor. We meditated and prayed for strength to get through the hard times that we were going through, knowing that God was going to be there every step of the way and that those hard moments would pass!

That night I went to bed with a different outlook on life and forgiveness. I realized that I had been putting to much energy into people who probably was not even worrying about me or my feelings. I realized that I forgot about what it is that I should have been truly focusing on, which was my LIFE PURPOSE! I went to bed with so much gratitude because God was there for me and I felt his presence! 

PEOPLE LEARN TO FORGIVE. Do not do it for those who hurt you but, for yourself. Because to be truthfully honest, when you choose not to forgive, you end up hurting yourself far more than the people who actually hurt you from the beginning!